Review: Ryan's Bed by Tijan

Ryan's Bed by Tijan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I received this eARC novel from the author. This is my honest review.

MacKenzie's life changed in a second when she found her twin sister, Willow, dead in her bathroom after she committed suicide. Mac was found by her mother, lying on the floor holding her sister's hand.

Four hours later, Mac and her younger brother Robbie were dropped off at a collegue of her mom's while they dealt with the terrible situation of what happened with Willow. Mac didn't know anyone who she was staying with. Peach, the daughter, was a year younger than Mac and Ryan, her brother, was in the same grade as Mac. Peach and Ryan's parents decided that it would be best if Mac stayed with Peach for the night - to not have her be alone after everything she just went through.

But after a mistake in the middle of the night after going to the bathroom in a strangers house, Mac realizes that she got into Ryan's bed - not Peach's. The second she got into his bed, Mac felt better. She felt safer. And she stayed there all night and was able to finally close her eyes to get a little rest after the horrible nightmare she just went through.

And so begins the friendship and relationship of Mac and Ryan. Ryan is the only person that Mac feels good around. She is always acting the tougher person when Robbie is around - to make sure that he knows he is safe and that things are going to be okay. Both of her parents don't look at her anymore because she reminds them too much of Willow and it breaks their heart. And since they just moved to a new town, Mac doesn't have her old friends who knew Willow, so she isn't talking to them. But they aren't reaching out to Mac either, so it goes both ways, in the end.

But Ryan? He's been through a similar thing in his life with his cousin, and Mac can rely on him to not push her to do anything she can't do at the moment.

Mac goes through a lot of emotions, but when Willow starts talking to Mac in her head and showing up out of nowhere, Mac realizes that she might not be doing better like she thought. Mac might be getting worse, but she doesn't want to confront everything that happened.

And as much as it seems that Ryan is helping her, he may not be enough to save Mac from her unstable mind after everything she's gone through.

This book.

Man. This was so emotional. I couldn't imagine losing a family member or a best friend, but for Mac to lose her TWIN SISTER, her other half, and for her to find her in the bathroom with the blood everywhere and to know that she can't save her at all - that she was too late? That is just heartbreaking.

And it's not just the fact that she found her like that, but Mac is so upset that she didn't see the signs, that she didn't try to stop her sister from going through with it. She wants her other half back so much, and there is nothing she can do about it except take one breath at a time and work her way through the pain, heartache, and try to fill the hole up that has appeared inside of her the minute she found Willow .

I loved the way Ryan was with Mac. He could see her going through so much and he was there for her, no matter which way he was there. As a friend, as a buddy, as a lover, as a rock for her to grab on to. He was there for every second that she needed someone, and that is all Mac needed during this terrible time. He didn't try to fight her battles for her, but knew that she needed to do it herself if she was to get any better after time.

Because Ryan is so popular at his school, the girls were so nasty toward Mac. They want Ryan for themselves because they grew up with him and know just how amazing he was, but Ryan decided that he wanted Mac and those girls were pure evil after that. But I am so proud of how Mac was because at this point in her life, nothing could get worse. She fought back. She was a mean girl, and she knew she needed to be that person in order for her not to get pushed around. And most of it was because she knew that is what Willow would have done to these girls, but I also think it was another way for Mac to work through the issues and problems she was having since Willows death.

All I know was that I was cheering her on each and everytime her inner bitch came out, because those girls needed to be put in their place real quick. No one should act that way, and no one should be treated the way they were trying to treat Mac.

I loved all of the side characters and their part in Mac's story as well. It may not have seemed like much, but they did so much to help Mac to back to "normal" as she could possible get.

This was such a great novel, and as much as I wish there was more coming, I'm really glad how the book ended. I saw that ending coming a little bit early on, but I'm glad that Tijan decided to leave it like that and not have a sequel. It leaves the reader with a way for them to end Mac's story.

I'm so glad I got a chance to read this novel! I think other readers will really be impacted by the story that Tijan created.

View all my reviews